I’ve been gone for a while, I know. You’ve been saddened and had fewer things to pretend to be working on from 8-5, I know. You don’t even find my surveys particularly entertaining but will read it anyway because it’s far better to be mildly amused yet bored than to work, I know.
Worst damage you ever took in a fight:
Laceration to the arm requiring 72 stitches. That was, like, my biggest ouchie ever. A little advice for you folks: whenever possible try to avoid getting into a fight with a chain link fence. Seriously.
Most money you ever owed a credit card company:
About a car’s worth. Approximately.
Last time you got kicked out of a bar:
I don’t get kicked out of bars. I only fall off of them.
Longest time you slept in a car:
There was that one night after the Girls Gone Wild Birthday party Chevy threw for me where we woke up in our car somewhere in River Oaks with no idea how or when we got there. If I ever find the driveway we were parked in again I’ll be sure to ask them how long we were there for.
Most fucked up nickname you've ever been given:
"Hey Fuc….ow! owow! Sorry, please stop!"
Worst job you ever had:
Employee.
Shortest job you've ever had:
Midget wrangler.
Longest romantic relationship:
Just over 6 years, 28 pairs of boots, 8 pairs of 7’s, 1,896 Starbucks drinks, 1 pit bull mix, and 482 filthy dirty martinis.
Shortest romantic relationship:
I’ve never had a short relationship, I’ve always been selective about long term people. I have, however, escaped a date from time of pick-up, meal consumption, to being dropped off in about an hour.
Food that you would eat until you puked:
All of it. How do you think I keep this sexy figure?
Food that even looking at makes you puke:
Omg, if I could master this skill I’d totally be set!
What music saved your life:
Duuunn nuuuhhh. Duunn nuuhh. Dunn nuhh, dun nuh, dun nuh, dun nuh, dunnuh dunnuh….as soon as I heard it I knew to get the fuck out of the water.
Person you miss the most in the world:
Anthony Martin. Tony Ace, where are you?
Worst movie you've ever seen:
Didn’t see it. I have these crazy things called legs and fingers. Through years of study and practice I have mastered both the art of the walk-out and the channel-change which save me from such horrors as Showgirls, Glitter, and Water World.
Best movie you've ever seen:
We are still in the casting stages to play the role of Fefa, it’s going to be a while before I see it.
Movie you really want to see:
I’ll give you one guess.
Ever almost die:
I have excellent follow through. I never almost anything.
Ever fist fight a member of the opposite sex:
No, but I have kicked a door into your face fought with the opposite sex.
Best place you have ever lived:
In a mansion with Brad Pitt.
Worst place you have ever lived:
In a shack, married to Bud Bundy, with 7 children, and working as a one-armed waitress. Damn you M.A.S.H!
Bad habit you have:
Irritatingly cute.
Noise that makes you want to punch people:
"I’m sorry ma’am but we are about to close the store".
Your favorite tattoo:
The one that is not on me.
Least favorite tattoo:
The one that was on me.
At your poorest, were you a ramen noodle or mac n' cheese:
Are you shitting me? Mac N’ Cheese was on a rich day! I had to have butter AND milk to make that shit right.
Most money you have ever spent on a single meal:
A couple hundred. Ish...
Best gift you ever got:
A sweet ride.
Best pet you ever had:
Pooh.
Ever run from the cops:
Yes. And we got away. May I just say, if I can escape the police in high heels the department has some serious work to do.
Money or love:
I don’t understand the question.
posted by Fefa @ 11:09 AM
10 Comments:
this is your best survey ever!
mash - i liked to play by myself, that way i ALWAYS ended up in a mansion, driving a jag, married to kirk cameron, working as an actress, with 2.5 kids and a dog.
and here I thought you'd up and offed to fifa land for fifa fever...
nice postage. oddly enough, your worst job ever is mine too! oddity, eh?
Sarah, 2.5 kids? I'm confused. Does that mean you had two girls and a boy?
Moi, my sympathies. Should you be looking for a career change perhaps I can suggest midget wrestling. It is such a rewarding job, and so fun, you can't beat it with a stick. Well you can actually, it's just frowned upon, so look around first.
http://onetwothreego.blogspot.com/
Fefa, you should do a post where readers of your blog cast the part of "Fefa" in the upcoming movie based on the Pulitzer Prize autobiography I am sure you are working on now.
And if someone suggests Bea Arthur play you in the movie, that person is not your friend.
Brilliant idea. I already have Faye Dunaway in mind for my latter years. She is a mix of diva and eccentric older woman who still looks fabulous - though her meds have done something to her fashion taste lately. Which, presumably, will happen to me too, so...
Readers, a younger Fefa? Mr. Fefa? Let's see how well you know me...
OK, here's what I'm thinking:
Young Fefa is played by Dakota Fanning. There's no denying the similarities here, so don't even try it.
Teenaged Fefa is played by Evan Rachel Wood, complete with lip ring, choker collar, dyed hair and eyebrow-length bangs. Army boots with a carefully-placed "urine" sticker round out our look.
I guess Faye Dunaway coud work for old Fefa, but I was thinking more along the lines of Rebecca De Mornay. Or maybe Madonna...?
I need some more time casting The Beej's part....TBA.
Zach Braff? Or, maybe, Zach Braff? As an alternative I would consider the guy from Scrubs. Or Garden State. Either one.
Yeah, that Zach Braff sure is dreamy.
*sigh*
OMG, he totally just split from Mandy! I feel sort of bad though, he must have read a little too much into my blog.
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