I have a great phone voice. So great I do recordings for voice systems on occasion. But not great enough to make $3.99 a minute.
If it has avocado in it, that’s what I will order.
When I was little I had a turtle. My parents said I should name it something unique. Something nobody else ever named their pet. I named him Blue Bird.
People often think I’m black before they meet me. They also give me a funny look when I tell them my name.
I once tagged along on a shopping trip for power tools with Les Claypoole and Larry from Primus. They didn’t want me there, but I went anyway.
I lock doors behind me. This upsets a lot of people who arrive after me, even though it’s me who has to be bothered to get up and let them in.
I once had a fork fall and land perfectly upright, stuck into my foot. It hurt like a &*(#$@*()#^&*). Despite the pain I yelled for 5 minutes until Mr. Fefa came into the room so I had 1. someone to backup my story and 2. someone to pull the fork out. It took 5 minutes to convince him I was telling the truth and come help me.
I had a Mohawk. It was blue.
I love to cook, have since I was little, and am pretty damn good at it. I do not, however, like to cook for other people.
I discarded my plans for a guy, and it worked out happily ever after. Especially for him.
I was horribly picked on when I was young for being ugly and a nerd, and I am surprisingly thankful for it.
I was the first to develop in school, and did so over a summer vacation. Suddenly everyone wanted to be my friend, and I told them all to kiss my ass, and meant it.
One time I went to summer camp for two weeks, and my parents "forgot" to pick me up. We’ll see what Mom thinks about that next time she flies in for a visit.
I have been known to, on occasion, wave to someone I totally don’t know and then look at them funny when they wave back.
I have been pulled over for speeding about 10 times. I have received 0 speeding tickets.
I will occasionally nipples throw in something completely random to see if you are even listening.
posted by Fefa @ 2:01 PM
9 Comments:
Nipples.
I picked that word special for you.
Wait...
You're not black?
You had boots that said "urine" on them.
When your weird religious neighbors hosted religious events at their house, you took all the shoes their guests left on the porch and lined them up, heel-to-toe, down the sidewalk and around the corner.
You threw water bottles at rollerbladers as you drove by, and accused them of being "fruitbooters".
Your dad had a Nissan Pulsar. He thought it was sporty.
You're right, Feefs - random facts about you ARE interesting!
:)
lol - Fork in foot
I hae a roommate that did that, but it was in his hand and it was PUT there for him..painfull as all hell if I remember correctly........
i got more hill...
one time a driver cut fefa and mr. fefa off in traffic, then stopped and wiped their boogers on the fefa's windows.
fefa is constantly reminded that she looks really good... for being so old.
i can vouch for fefa's great phone voice - except it changes as soon as she realizes you're not someone she cares to impress.
fefa and i once considered making extra money by being budweiser girls. she opted for the big bucks by becoming a pepto bismol girl. chaps and all.
you can't make this stuff up people.
Oh, thank goodness you were able to remind me of the ones I "forgot" to include.
You have to admit though, Hil, taking everyone's shoes off their porch on "chant night" and lining them heel to toe down the street - not keeping the pairs together - was pretty f'ing funny though. It went for about 3 blocks, and took over an hour for everyone to get theirs shoes together when they came out. Man, it was almost as funny as that time you racked up hundreds of dollars on our phone bill calling psychics.
Yes, it's true. We once upset someone so much she actually walked up to our car at a red light (Post Oak/Westheimer intersection) and yelled at us. When we laughed she was so angry she must not have known what else to do, and actually stuck her finger in her nose and wiped a booger on the window next to me. Good times. I would call you out on something here, but I already told everyone about you throwing up at the mall last month, so...
Andrea, this is why we only have sporks in my house. Far less dangerous to myself, or anyone else. And they flick peas so much farther.
No, I'm not black in person. But on paper, I am. You have no idea how many scholarships were revoked when I applied for college after I showed up to meet them.
don't worry, people think i'm a 5'-2" mexican woman when they read my name. or they ask me if my mommy is home when I answer the phone (I apparently sound 7 years old which is kind of funny because I'm so not a child nor do I call my mum 'mommy').
I am going to call you Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock from now on. Is that close?
Next time they ask pause for a minute, then say "Mommy's not breathing. She won't wake up" in a concerned voice. Then hang up.
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